Letter to my son - 1 Year

Dear Cole,

You are one year old today! You are definitely turning from my little baby into a little boy. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that we were bringing you home.

The past year has been the most challenging yet rewarding of my life. At this time a year ago, I was in the hospital feeling happy to have my son with me, elated that you were healthy, and yet was sad, disappointed, and angry about how you came into this world. Those feelings stayed with me for quite some time after we got home, and probably will, to an extent, forever. I have learned so much because of that experience, though, and have met some really wonderful women as I grieved for the both of us.

Time marched on, and your dad and I quickly realized that parenting wasn't all that easy. I'm not sure how your dad felt, but I thought that it would come a little more naturally. I had none of the motherly instincts I'd heard so much about. You weren't feeling that great, and we were worried for you.

We got some help for you, and slowly you started to feel a little better. Suddenly you became this happy little guy. You've got the sweetest little smile that's impossible not to love.

You are so much like both me and your dad. You love to laugh (and laugh at your own jokes), you're playful, stubborn, cranky when you don't get enough sleep or food, love to read, and love our walks with Ralphie.

We've still got some work to do, but you (and I) have come such a long way. I'm so proud of you, Cole. You have taught me to love even more than I thought I already could. Thanks for being my son, my friend, and for making me a mommy.

I love you, sweet boy. Happy 1st birthday.

Love,

Mom